Pretentious, opinionated language

Games, technology, music, silliness. Oh and ninjas. Lots of ninjas.

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Location: Oslo, Norway

I am Andreas. Day time programmer and technical consultant. Night time musician and game developer.

Saturday, August 12, 2006


Today's culprit: Cheap bosses in fighting games

Nothing screams "we couldn't even bother" like a final boss fight that determinedly breaks the rules of the game up until then. It is well known that Namco have never even bothered balancing their Tekken franchise, with character matchups that aren't just broken, but WILFULLY so. Want to put Anna Williams up against Bryan Fury? Good luck with that, you've got a far-far harder fight ahead of you than if you played Yoshimitsu.

So in terms of balance, Namco have basically handed the gauntlet to the multiplayer gamers, who have to create some kind of unwritten code of honor as to how to play the game, with characters being delegated into "tiers". No wonder Itagaki rips on Tekken.

Namco, you ASSHOLES.

Jinpachi? What in gods name were you thinking? You take an otherwise entirely enjoyable story mode (by fighting game standards), and end it with a big fat cheat? If your boss isn't hard enough, there is a VERY fine line between cheap and challenging, and you take that line and basically LEAP joyfully across it with Jinpachi.
  1. Attack that comes out in less than 5 frames, stuns you for 2 seconds and has no buildup? Check.
  2. *UNBLOCKABLE RANGED ATTACK* in a game that's previously been known to disregard Street Fighter's fireball massive? Check. Does it take 65% health off your bar? Yeap. Is it dodgeable? With great effort, but then another one is coming right after it so why bother.
  3. Character mesh so MESSY that identifying the buildup to a move among it's myriads of useless wavy junk becomes nigh on impossible? Check.
  4. HUGE character mesh, making catching the difference between a high and a medium or a medium or a low attack a complete lottery? Check.
Fighting game developers: If you can't include the last boss of the game as a playable character because you KNOW it's cheap, your design flat out sucks. Last time i saw something this retarded was in Marvel Vs Capcom 2, with a screenfilling multiphase thing that would be better off in Gunstar heroes. Complete bullshit.

Rubbing salt into my wounds, Tekken 5 has a model for unlockables that requires you to play the game for a very, very long time indeed, with the fastest way to moneys being the story mode. Playing through the story mode and having to vomit my way through Jinpachi THIRTY TIMES is about as unpleasant a thought as i can come up with right now.

And Jeff Gerstman, you list "tough final boss fight" as a PRO? Jinpachi isn't challenging, he's a pain in the ass! It's like saying putting needles under your feet makes running a marathon more challenging!

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Interesting documentary

The End of Suburbia: Oil Depletion and the Collapse of the American Dream

Interesting documentary. Give it an hour of your life :)

Apparently it wasnt allowed to be on google video in the first place. Bah!
Anyway, still worth getting, even paying for. It's a good one.