Pretentious, opinionated language

Games, technology, music, silliness. Oh and ninjas. Lots of ninjas.

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Location: Oslo, Norway

I am Andreas. Day time programmer and technical consultant. Night time musician and game developer.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

PS3 euro lineup

  • Resistance: Fall of Man™ - SCEE - Disc
  • MotorStorm™ - SCEE - Disc
  • Genji™: Days of the Blade - SCEE - Disc
  • Ridge Racer™ 7 - SCEE - Disc
  • Tekken®: Dark Resurrection - SCEE - Network
  • Lemmings™ - SCEE - Network
  • Go! Sudoku - SCEE - Network
  • Go! Puzzle - SCEE - Network
  • Blast Factor™ - SCEE - Network
  • flOw™ - SCEE - Network
  • Super Rub’a'Dub - SCEE - Network
  • Call of Duty 3 - Activision UK Ltd - Disc
  • Marvel: Ultimate Alliance - Activision UK Ltd - Disc
  • Tony Hawk’s Project 8 - Activision UK Ltd - Disc
  • Gundam – Target in Sight - Namco Bandai Games - Disc
  • Full Auto™ 2: Battle Lines - Sega®Europe Ltd - Disc
  • Sonic the Hedgehog™ - Sega®Europe Ltd - Disc
  • Virtua Fighter™ 5 - Sega®Europe Ltd - Disc
  • Virtua Tennis™ 3 - Sega®Europe Ltd - Disc
  • World Snooker Championship 2007 - Sega®Europe Ltd - Disc
  • NBA 2K7 - Take 2 International SA - Disc
  • NHL 2K7 - Take 2 International SA - Disc
  • Blazing Angels Squadrons of WWll - Ubisoft Entertainment SA - Disc
  • Enchanted Arms - Ubisoft Entertainment SA - Disc
  • Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Double Agent - Ubisoft Entertainment SA - Disc
  • The Elder Scrolls lV: Oblivion - Ubisoft Entertainment SA - Disc
  • Def Jam: Icon - Electronic Arts Ltd - Disc
  • Fight Night Round 3 - Electronic Arts Ltd - Disc
  • NBA Street 4 Homecourt 2007 - Electronic Arts Ltd - Disc
  • Need for Speed Carbon - Electronic Arts Ltd - Disc
  • The Godfather: The Don’s Edition - Electronic Arts Ltd - Disc
  • Tiger Woods PGA Tour 2007 - Electronic Arts Ltd - Disc
  • Untold Legends: Dark Kingdom - Electronic Arts Ltd - Disc
  • F.E.A.R. Vivendi - Universal Games Intl SA - Disc
  • Gripshift - Sony Online Entertainment - Network
Wow. A list full of stuff that's already out there or perfectly average. Not impressed.

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Crackdown smackdown

Straight up, the Crackdown demo has me convinced. It is rough around the edges, but at its core it's fun in the same way Hulk: Ultimate Destruction was fun. It's just a hugely liberating game, complete with a Verhoeven-esque ironic fascist slant on the future-as-logical-conclusion.

Visually gorgeous, with a subtle cel-shading effect that really plays to the strengths of the engine, and with incredibly fitting sound design. Smashing things this way hasn't really been fun since said Hulk game, and it's about time we got more of it.

Definitely check out the demo on Live. I haven't tried it co-op yet but i'm terrified at how immense that might turn out. I'm literally drooling.

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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Nintendo: Some suggestions follow

I enjoy this here Wii thing you created. I enjoy it much.
However, i must admit a slight tickle of the fearing sort imagining the interface you have created for managing friends and messages within the context of online multiplayer, or even the device's functionality as a community facility.

You appear to have made the assumption that, at an absolute maximum, i will have something like 5 registered friends in my adress book. However, as antisocial as i am, i already have two pages full, and i have a good few more coming. With a list as such, and with online multiplayer on the horizon, i have to ask; how do you intend to facilitate easy communication between groups of individuals rather than simple one-to-one messaging?

Rather than expect a response, i will provide my own personal suggestions for a Wii frontend update, if only to have said it and gain some peace of mind.

  1. Allow me to add more than one recipient for a message
    This seems simple enough. Instead of returning to the message upon selecting a recipient, allow me to "tag" multiple recipients from my adress book and press an "ok" button.
  2. Give us a real message board
    If i have registered John and Mike. And John and Mike have registered me and eachother, shouldn't we be allowed to exchange messages freely as a group, or even DISCUSS through these messages? Give us functionality that allows us to send messages to a public "friends" board, accessible by all registered friends, and readable in chronological top to bottom order rather than the freeform postits-on-a-calendar paradigm. Make it a separate "tab" on the message board screen.
  3. Automatically notify friends when a new game is used on the machine
    A wonderfully underestimated aspect of Xbox Live is the ability to quickly assess what games your friends play and to what extent they appear to enjoy them. A simple implementation of something like it is to be able to send an automatic notice to your registered friends that you have played a game on your Wii you have never played before.
  4. Automatically notify friends when you have achieved generic game goals
    Auto-brag! Tell my friends i've completed Zelda! Tell them i'm Pro at Wii Sports Bowling!
  5. Tag a Mii as ME
    Automatically send it to registered friends and update it whenever i change it.
  6. Let me rate VC games
    Right now there's nothing worse on the Wii than getting a VC game that sucks. Allow me to rate VC games with a 1-5 star scale. When i enter the Virtual Console store, display my registered friends' ratings as an average. If 5 of my friends play a game and rate it at an average of 4 stars, i'll know it's at least worth a purchase. You have no demo functionality like Live Arcade, and frankly you need something like it. This would help greatly.
None of these suggestions require real alteration of your existing online framework, only software on the user end, and would improve the experience quite a bit. As is, my Wii friends are nothing but entries in an adress book, when they could be my Wii community

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Monday, January 15, 2007

Burning crusade will eat your soul

I am, as stated, not a fan of World of warcraft. Tonight the expansion launches.

I thought i'd commemorate this occation by pointing out to you all the things i think are wrong about the game, as a symbol of the genre at which vanguard it stands, howling with fury at the enemy, claymore at the ready. Who is this enemy? Your very soul.

Much of what i'm about to say are matters of fact. Obvious matters even. The important thing, and i can't stress this enough, is the maddening insignificance of it, and the very real toll these insignificances take on you as an individual.

Nothing you do in this game will ever matter. Every moment of your life you spend grinding, spamming heals or dots in raids, talking shit on vent, all these moments, minutes, hours and days are moments you could have spent becoming a better person. You could've spent them tending to your relationship. You could've learned something new, something real. You could've learned how to play an instrument. You could've read a great book. You could've learned how to create your own game. Every hour you clock in is an hour closer to the grave, and hour you'll never get back. And you're paying to undergo this vampirism.

You create nothing in this world. You destroy nothing in this world. Whatever you remove from it is returned in moments. Whatever you give to it is surpassed in moments. Whatever you say in it is forgotten. And you pay for this oblivion.

There is no achievement to be made in this world. Any achievement you meet has been placed in front of you by the designers, and your only boon is the fact that you spent the time and wealth to get at it. Within moments, across the world, your glory is washed over by a tide of insignificance as your achievement is repeated a hundred times over, and you are left with one option; to start over on a different path. But what is the point? Whatever you will do has been done before. Whatever you experience has been experienced before; your ability to manifest yourself with this world instantly nullified by a game design out to make all men and women equal to the molecule. But men and women ARE NOT equal, and should never be forced to partake in such a totalitarian concept of the self. You will never be made truly manifest in this world. And you are paying for this slavery.

Every time you log in, what is truly your goal? A simulacra of a socialite existence? Truly this is not the case, because isn't this a game? A challenge to be overcome, a challenge to your senses, your sensibilities, your intelligence? Shouldn't a game in the true sense of the word pose a question to which your SELF will provide the answer? In this world, you joyfully commit genocide. In this world, you slay women, the weak, animals in the wild, for no reason other than a figurative means to an end that is entirely hollow; a loose concept of achievement and progress that is in itself a lie, because not only is there a physical end to it, but it comes quickly, and when it comes there isn't a thing you can do to surpass it, the only form of progress from that point a test of endurance. And you are paying for this empty, aimless existence.

I loathe everything world of warcraft stands for. Its craftsmanship is a boon to Blizzard's ability, but its popularity is a boon to the game's simplicity. This is a "game" in only the loosest sense of the word, where challenge is solved with time, and failure is punished with time. Time for which you pay hard earned money, but more importantly, time forever lost.

You will never see this day again.

I could level these ballistics at any game of the genre that exists only to mine the bored, the lonely and the easily distracted of both their lifespan and their economy, but in truth WoW is the ugliest of them all, most spectacularly because of its complete disregard for the individual. You are faceless in this world. You are ageless in this world. You can't create. You can't build. Your efforts will pass away into nothing at the push of a button, and none of that effort will ever become something you can be truly proud of, because deep inside your secret heart, you know all you did was waste time.

I love video games. They're a constant flood of wonderful images and ideas, of scary things, pretty things, sad things, funny things. But they should never feed off you. They should never take bleeding chunks out of your life, and they should never grow fat off your loneliness, your disconnection from the world, or from your urges for acceptance and conformity.

Play games, but guard your heart, guard your self. You are guests in their worlds, not them in yours. Don't let them inside, and if you do, don't give them they key.

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Saturday, January 06, 2007

I wish sony...

..would stop using the play beyond slogan. Right now it's hurting them so fucking bad.

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Monday, January 01, 2007

Bioshock, my 360 is HOWLING for your company

Since i got the Wii, my 360 has seen progressively less play. It could be that i'm all played out on Gears of war online (it needs a patch, srsly), or that i'm not getting Vegas until i can get a reliable co-op partner, but mostly it's my need for peace and quiet in my life right now, and frankly, the 360 sounds like there are gale force winds spelunking in there.

I had almost forgotten how quiet consoles can be. We have become so accustomed to consoles needing multiple fans, disc drives, or motors in general, that we've forgotten a time when you switched on the SNES or Genesis and all you ever heard from it was the click of the power switch.
The 360 is hopefully the noisiest console we'll ever see, because it is seriously crazy. WHOOOSH.

I want Bioshock so bad i can taste it. I have so much faith in Irrational it borders on the irrational. They truly represent Looking Glass to me.

I look at this screen, and something in me just snaps. It's a steampunk mutant with a drill.. In a graveyeard, in a garden, in an art deco underwater city, in the 60s. I can try, hard, but i'll be damned if i can come up with a more perfect setting for a survival horror FPS.

Fuck you 2006

Even in spite of all my efforts to better you, you consistently beat me down, rejected me, turned me away and made a laughing stock of my efforts. You were the worst year i have ever lived through, and i hope to never see anything as voracious in its appetite for breaking down the human spirit.

Fuck you, hard, right in your quantum asshole

Here's a toast to a 2007 to wash all that pain away for all of us. Salud!

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