Pretentious, opinionated language

Games, technology, music, silliness. Oh and ninjas. Lots of ninjas.

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Location: Oslo, Norway

I am Andreas. Day time programmer and technical consultant. Night time musician and game developer.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Sofa cliques, or Why Gaming And Club Scenes Fail

I've thrown a few club events, and without fail, if you ever allow your patrons to become comfortable, you've lost all recruitment to the scene. You have what we call "sofa cliques". You know the type, you enter the venue, and there's like 6 guys sitting around a table talking. Commonly, you'll have several. One in the sofa, one at the bar, one standing in the corner. Instantly, that door is shut for you socially. You come in the door, you immediatly feel discarded.

No matter how rad the music is, if the people into that music are dicks, or you wind up sitting there alone, you're not going to want to partake.

The solution? Keep throwing curveballs. Every party i've thrown since we picked this up have been multiple demographic events. Electro/Reggae/Industrial. Breakcore/ambient/hiphop. Hiphop/jungle/schranz. If you break up preconceptions like that, keeping people on their toes and never letting the attendance coagulate, you get an equally confused and confounded audience every time, and they find unity in their confusion.

Many, confused and happy > few, knowledgable and content.

If anything, the term "gamer" has fucked us up. We have a "language" now. We have "terms". It makes gaming look like buying into a social group, and it really isn't. It should be about pushing the buttons to solve problems, and coming out of it with a smile on your face. Not coming out of it with "cred".

Fuck gamerscores. Fuck kudos. Gamerscores and achievements = sofa clique generators.

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Sunday, April 08, 2007

Privately owned luxury subs for ultimate greatness
*starts saving up*

This is a moment for mad ramblings.
If i had the money to construct/maintain that thing i'd:

  • Hire a crew made up entirely of hot asian chicks and/or ninjas. Combination is also acceptable. Hot ninja chicks.

  • Make them wear uniforms that have my name on it, maybe even my face embroidered

  • Train a small army of dolphins to defend the sub from angry whales

  • Hire an angry whale

  • Christen the thing "Deathshark", give it shark decals like jaws etc

  • Paint the thing ninja black.

  • Fill the thing with traps, in case of boarding by pirates.

  • Install a way to electrify the hull in case of boarding by primitive tribes

  • Install an unbelievable sound system. On the outside of the hull. When i'm under the ice caps, scubadivers off hawaii will hear creepy music

  • Arm the thing. Somehow! Please?

If we all get in on it now we could have a FLEET! Imagine! We could rove the seas, solving environmental problems with our supreme knowledge of the seas!

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Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Wii gestures that have to die, now

I hate these. Please, please stop putting them in games. Please.

* Nunchuck jerk upwards for jumping. Just. Not. Precise. Enough.

* Shaking the nunchuck and wiimote randomly for "powering up" or whatever.

* Tilt as a gesture. These occur way, way too randomly. A tilt in one direction, then back another is a gesture. A simple tilt anywhere is not. Please!

There. Whew. Thanks for listening.

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Monday, April 02, 2007

Wii SD card support sucks almost as bad as the holocaust

I, like many, bought a Wii. It has this thing on it called the virtual console(tm), which indeed lets you play old emulated games. These games take up space. Most are quite small, but some are relatively large. The Wii has 512mb internal memory. I am about to run out.

The Wii has SD card support. To me, this seems logical: cheap and affordable space expansion. Except it doesn't expand shit.

Games can't be saved directly to SD.
Saves can't be read directly from SD.
VC games can't be downloaded directly to SD.
VC games can't be played directly from SD.
Saves or VC games can't be moved quickly from SD to internal memory or vice versa. This requires a copy-then-delete approach.

VC games saved to SD are only playable on the downloading console: this i understand.
Savegames copied to SD can only be loaded by the originating console: this is so blindly retarded i don't even know where to begin chastising it.

What the hell is up with this? I hope to dear god there's going to be some kind of system update to fix the file management, because this is stupid on a level most definitions of poor software design can only imagine beginning to relate to.

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